Commissary Kitchen: My Infamous Prison Cookbook by Johnson Albert Prodigy & Iandoli Kathy

Author:Johnson, Albert Prodigy & Iandoli, Kathy [Johnson, Albert Prodigy]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Vodka & Milk
Published: 2016-10-10T16:00:00+00:00

CURRY CHICKEN

Curry gravy

Canned chicken (or canned salmon)

Butter

After you prepare the curry gravy, take the chicken (or salmon) from the can and wash and drain it (bones out of the salmon). Butter the toaster oven tray and lay the chicken on the tray with a little butter. Heat the curry gravy in the microwave. Add the chicken to the gravy and put it back in the microwave for a few minutes.

MY BIG ASS MEAL

I loved when I had visitors, especially my family. A few friends came too, but whenever my family made that trip, I made sure my uniform was tight. I’d “iron” the uniform under the bed. That’s where everybody ironed their clothes. You get two uniforms, so you keep one under the bed for your visit, so by the time the visit comes, it’s nice and fresh because you been sleeping on it all week. That’s like your visit uniform. During the rest of the week, nobody cares.

On the visitors’ floor, when my kids used to visit me with my wife, they had vending machines where you could get snacks and chips and everything that they don’t have in commissary. People couldn’t wait for the visit because then you could have like, hot wings you could put in the microwave! They got ill shit you could get in the vending machine. They had hot sandwiches and other food you could put in the microwave: ill snacks, doughnuts, a lot of things. Just things they don’t have on the inside. They had this spicy chicken sandwich, and the name of it was Big Ass Chicken Sandwich. That was the name of it, yo! It was a spicy chicken sandwich like the one at Wendy’s. It was a spicy chicken patty, it had real jalapenos on it, and it really was a Big Ass Chicken Sandwich. It was about $4 or something like that. That was my favorite thing to eat. At every visit, I would get the Big Ass Chicken Sandwich. They also had the Big Ass Burger too. It would say it right on the package – Big Ass Burger. You can’t sneak it back up, though. They gotta strip search you. They gotta look in your butthole and all that. You gotta lift your nuts, cough, all that shit. After a while, I told my wife not to come because it was an 8-hour drive – four hours up to Mid-State and four hours back down. I didn’t want her doing all that driving, you know what I mean? So I was like, “Don’t come. Just come when you feel like it, holidays or whatever. That drive is too long.” Plus in the wintertime, it’s bad up there. It’s crazy. You know how many times after visiting the prison, people’s families would be like, “Yo, we got into a car accident and our car flipped over!” I used to tell them, “Don’t come up here. Come if you really feel like coming. Don’t come thinking I need a visit, because I don’t give a fuck.

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